Monday, December 29, 2008

Day 1 Continued (again): Pink Floyd Soundtrack

"Ford," Arthur said, "you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."

Still in Deltole, I find another beacon and warp to it...and I'm greeted by this:


There's a constant stream of frigate and cruiser rats flooding into the area, and a lone Ferox in the middle of it all, popping rats left and right.
I ask him if it's okay if I Salvage his wrecks, but he's silent, so I'll take that as a yes.
Maybe he was rendered speechless by my awesome salvaging skills. Yeah, that's it...

I putt my way over to the wrecks and start salvaging...and then the Ferox warps out.
Uh oh.
I'm immediately targeted by 5 Rats, and with no offensive weaponry I can't last very long. The armor rep and DCU helps, but I only get 6 wrecks before I have to warp out, lest I pop like a juicy melon. A melon made of meat.

My grand haul consists of 2 metal scraps, 5 burned micro chips, and some lorentz fluid. Whatever the hell that is. I'M A HUNDREDAIRE!

I did, however, manage to snap a few pics on my way out.

Image 1

Image 2

Sure looks nice when you're not running in fear of frigate rats. Bah.
Anyway, time to move on.

The junkyard and battle site a distant memory, I continue on my journey across the universe (well, galaxy). A few jumps go by with nothing worth noting...there's a little place called The Carnival in Barkrik, but it turns out to be little more than a small, ruined station with a named Cruiser sitting on it (which I couldn't kill, of course). Same for a complex a short warp jump away, guarded by a single named enemy.

Barkrik seems pretty boring...but as luck would have it, I warp to the most awe-inspiring sight I've ever seen in Eve. It's just so much different than anything I've seen. Words can't really do it's a few pics for you:

Hyperbole Nexus

Does this image give anyone else the urge to play Sonic?...

The good ones, I mean. Not the crappy new ones. Genesis for life, yo. Word.

That would be the Hyperbole Nexus. It's, isn't it? I love those towering funnels of...whatever they are. This alone has been worth the trip so far. I probably sat in that spot for a good 5 minutes, just taking it in. And to think...I've only just started this journey.

After spending a good amount of time there, I warp out to the third place in this system, something called The Reactor Factory. Also blue and glowy, but not nearly to the extent of the nexus.

Pedro is going to need to build me a bigger storage container to keep all these pics in.

A few more jumps with nothing to see, but I did spot a nice-looking planet next to one of the jump gates:

No, I'm not going to make a bad pun about the planet being shocking or something. Relax.

Finally I arrive in Hek, and jump to the closest system, Nakugard.
I've come to like Nakugard. You'll see why.

...Upon re-reading what I've written in this post so far, I've come to realize that being tired is killing my ability to be funny. BUT I SHALL PRESS ON, because you have to see this:


I think I just sat here for 10 minutes staring at the sparkly things.

Pictures don't do it justice.

Finally, the elusive Glass Edge. This is the place that made me want to explore in the first place, and I finally found it. Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters for everyone!

My thirst for new places satiated, I pull into a dock and order the first available sleeping quarters, staring out the view port at the glittering lights of the Glass Edge.

Day 1 Continued: The Beginning Of The Beginning Of The End Of The Beginning's End

You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."

Well...this is it. Time to head out. Out into the vastness of space, filled with possibilities. Danger, adventure, excitement, drunken weekends and sexual confusion, all of it. Bring it on, I say!

Before I leave, I load my cargo hold with only the essentials: 10 units of water, the first three seasons of Battlestar Galactica on HoloReel, and my faithful janitor, Pedro.

Pedro is here to help. Or else.

Pedro didn't want to go. But he's going anyway, damnit. YOU HEAR ME, PEDRO? Yeah, that's right. You know who signs your paychecks.
At least I won't have to worry about cleaning up my own bodily waste should such a thing happen.
...What? Oh, don't feel bad for him. He gets a 30 minute break every day, and he even gets first choice on the nutrient slop that dispenses from the kitchen.
*hides steak*

SO. Time to set off, then! Come on, Pedro! We're off to see the galaxy!
If you're gonna puke, use the sick bag. Yeah, having your atoms broken down and then reformed after every jumpgate can make you a little nauseous sometimes. Here we go!

19 jumps to my first target system, Hek. Hek is the gateway to a group of solar systems that each have at least 2 landmarks and/or interesting places to visit. Sounds like a good start, no?

Time to say goodbye to my beloved home system of Venilen. Here's hoping for the best!

So long, Venilen!

It's only a few jumps before I get a hit on my system info bar...somewhere to visit! Woohoo!

I warp over to my very first landmark, a ship graveyard in Algogille, a remnant of an old battle between Gallente and Caldari forces. And a pretty nice sight.

Ship Graveyard

Two jumps in, and I encounter a junk yard in Deltole, along with some Minmitar agents sitting around. Don't they get bored just sitting there and staring at junk all day? All I know is this: They're not as bored as Pedro.

A surprisingly pretty Junkyard

Sometimes I think ringed gas giants exist solely to look nice.

For a bunch of junk, it sure looks pretty.

Just a short update for now, working on a bigger one that should be up soon.

Day 1: Because I Have Nothing Better To Do

"Six pints of bitter," said Ford Prefect to the barman of the Horse and Groom. "And quickly please, the world's about to end."

Here I am. Sitting back in my reclining office chair, sipping away at my eggnog-flavored coffee, feeling decidedly un-jolly for this time of year, thinking that I may have bitten off more than I can chew.

I have no idea where to start. Do I immediately head for the nearest low-sec, and then null-sec system? Do I scrounge around in High Sec for a few sights? Would such time spent in high sec be enough to entertain my audience?

Where will I go? What will I do? Why do my pants feel like they've shrunk two sizes since I last put them on?

Browsing the Eve Forums yields little results...a scattered system here, a pretty sight there, but nothing worth going out to see by itself.
Fortunately, I happen upon someone while I'm logged in who has some good advice...he suggests visiting the first Titan ever created, and destroyed, in Eve Online: Steve.

"Ooooh, a Titan" I think aloud, accidentally knocking my cup of coffee off the table and all over my unfortunate dog, who reacts by yelping and running around in circles until he gets tired of being overly dramatic. Stop whining, you sissy, it's only 2nd degree burns!
I've never seen a Titan before, I'm sorry to say. I've always wanted to...and one day, I hope to be destroyed by a Doomsday weapon. That would really be the feather in my Eve cap.

"To C9N!" I shout, eagerly pulling down the drop menu and selecting the nearest stargate to start my journey.

Or rather, that's what I tried to do. What actually happened was I forgot I was in Jita (I had just bought another 5 Rifters and the respective modules to fit them, in the hopes of even further complete and utter failure at pirating), and I was on my work's wireless connection. As a result, my noob ship decided it would be more fun to sit around and suck down the void of space.

Well, fine, if I'm going to be forced to sit here I'm going to make a profit. My plan was flawless:

I sat back and watched the cash flow was genius, really. Soon I would have enough for a small kid's meal! Or maybe even a large iced tea.

I laughed maniacally as the terrified citizens bowed before my every whim:
Money, get away, get a good job with more pay and you're ooookaaay

Ignore the insurance payment, I had just lost a Rifter in my attempt to solo an Ishkur

With the enormous sum of 101.20 deposited into my account by the horrified masses, I logged out and waited until downtime was over, and I would be back at home on my good ol' super-fast network.

A few hours later, I was at home and ready to go. But I still needed to take a ship.
Hmm...a shuttle is fast, but I want to possibly make a little cash while I'm out there, because I expect to lose many, many ships (and my clone, with implants, because I don't have a jump clone) during my journey.

My hangar has a few nice ships in it: A Hulk (which I've used once), a Dominix, a small army of Rifters and Punishers, and a Salvaging ship...

...oooh, that'll work. I board my Destroyer, the Red Eye Express, and fit it out to make a little cash if possible, but avoid fights. Set up as follows:
Please be gentle.

Maybe they'll be merciful...probably not.

2x Tractor Beam
2x Salvager

1x AB

2x Warp Stabs
1x Small Armor Rep II
Yes, those are Warp Stabs. The first time I've ever fitted them. I figure I'm going to get tackled at some point, and I'm not fighting, so I might as well be safe, right?
...Please don't pod me.

I plug in C9N to my ship's nav computer, and it gives me an astonishing 50 jumps to the Titan. Well...looks like I'll be visiting somewhere closer first.
I hear The Glass Edge is really nice...

The Red Eye Express: An Introduction

"Space," says the Guide, "is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it really is," and so on.

For those of you coming from the forums: Welcome! I'll update my blog both here and on the forums, even though they use different HTML set ups, and thus is a pain in the ass.
Also, I can swear here. Fuck yeah!

It Begins

My friends, I have, as of the time of the creation of this topic, been playing Eve Online for the better part of a year. In that time, I have dabbled in a little bit of everything. I've run missions until my eyes bled. I've stared at my mining lasers for hours on end, even going so far as to get a Hulk...which I have used once. It is now sitting in my hangar collecting space dust.

I've tried, and failed, to be a pirate. The Yarr is not strong with me, it seems.

I have been a salvager, a cargo runner, a trader, a 'plex jockey, a pirate, an anti-pirate, a carebear, an ice supplier, and even a lowly, pathetic can flipper.

For all intents and purposes, I had become a space hooker, always looking for that next source of Isk, bouncing around from job to job to feed my unfortunate penchant for getting my ship blown up in battles I shouldn't have entered in the first place.

Eve had become...predictable. Maybe a little boring. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. And then I stumbled upon a little thing called The 0.0 Experiment by the great one himself, Innuminable Natmoore. Err...Inumerable...Inominoot...THAT ONE GUY.
For those of you who haven't had the delight of reading it, I suggest you do so.
Go ahead, I'll wait.
Back? Good. Entertaining, wasn't it? I thought so too.

His tale of travelling the expanses of Eve with nothing but a shuttle and a dream inspired me to no end, and I immediately took a trip to the Eve Gate a week after reading his exploits. I "ooooh"ed and "ahhhh"ed, and went back to my business. A nice diversion, but nothing I could occupy any real amount of time with, right?


Ha! You underestimate my boredom and amount of free time!
I've read a few "Adventure Log" type of topics on these forums over the last few months, and I always thought it would be fun to give it a here I am.

I bring my story to you, MY PEOPLE, SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF HELGHAN! FOR TOO LONG HAVE WE BEEN OPPR--oh, sorry. Wrong sci-fi universe.

My plan is simple: I will become the best Eve Tourist I can be. I will visit every pretty site, every demolished wreck, every scary Goon hub and BoB gate camp. Eve is a very big place, and it saddens me that I have only visited a tiny, tiny portion of it. So explore it I will! And I will do so armed only with a dry sense of humor and the ability to be podded every time I open my damn mouth.

The journey will be long, and I will probably end up going to the bathroom in the corner of my ship more than once, but if I can entertain some of you while you're slacking off at work (don't worry, I do it fact, I'm doing it right now), or while you're absent-mindedly alt-tabbing between the forums and your HIGH OCTANE MINING LASERS, it will have been worth it.

I will endeavor to update this travel journal as much as possible, i.e. when I'm not busy playing the new Call of Duty or Dead Space on my 360.
I will update daily, and will try for at least two updates a day, provided I'm not preoccupied with work, or Christmas shopping, or compulsively rearranging my DVD collection by alphabetical order.

So join me, won't you? There will be cake.