Thursday, January 1, 2009

Day 4: The Bunny Man, And Other Things I See While Drunk

Awww, it's just a rabbit...

Sorry for the lack of updates as of the past two days, but I've been trying to grind my way up to an 8.0 standing with a certain faction in order to get a jump clone. Nearly there, a few more missions should do it. I've realized I'd rather not lose the roughly 80 million Isk worth of implants that have been lodged into my skull.

Anyway, as of today, I've finished every sight in the local region, and even managed to make a quick detour to Luminaire to see the fancy-schmancy Caldari Titan. But more on that later.

Eager to continue my tour of the galaxy after grinding away at missions for the better part of two days, I head back 16 jumps to Uriok. This system has three major sights to visit, one of which I'm sure I was completely wasted when I visited.

Grabbing a delicious Guinness (from the planet of Ireland, of course) and a corned beef sammich, I warp my ship to an interesting little place called The Insurgent Encampment. In what will no doubt be a trend today, I've completely neglected to grab a shot of the information about the place, so we'll assume it's a camp for insurgents against the old Amarrian forces.
Actually, I think that's about right.

I rather like this shot.

Wanting to get this system out of the way as soon as possible, I warp over to the 2nd landmark, called The Culture Recess. It's actually a pretty unique looking station. From what I can remember, it used to be a place where Minmatard and Amarrrrrr tried to live together in peace and harmony, and daisies danced in the sunlight, and trees weren't in a crappy M. Night Shyamalamamalon movie.

Of course, Amarr being awesome and Minmitar being, uh, not, it didn't work out so well, and the place has mockingly been called "The Culture Recess" ever since.
All of this has absolutely no purpose other than to serve as filler for my post.

Can't we all just get along? No. No we can't.

Well into my 2nd Pint, I click on the "Warp to 0" bar for the last place: The Assassin's Overhang.
Once again I neglected to get a shot of the pop-up info bar, but it was something about an Amarrian general being lured and killed by Matari assassins, which is ironic, because the place now serves as an outpost for Amarrian agents to conduct SOOPER SEEKRIT operations and such.

Screw the insurgent encampment, screw the recess of culture, I HAVE FOUND THE GREATEST THING EVER.

As I fly around the area, I notice something...odd. A formation of rocks that looks like something vaguely familiar...

And then it hits me. IT'S A BUNNY RABBIT. A club-footed bunny rabbit wearing an armored dress or something, eating a melting ice cream cone, while hitting a soccer ball with a massive hard-on. I SHALL NAME HIM TED.


Still don't see it? Fine. Let me illustrate for you what I saw in my alcohol-infused mind.

Ted really likes ice cream, apparently.
Om nom nom

...I'm not sure if I drew an ice cream cone or a tree, but it was supposed to be an ice cream cone. I decided Ted would like to eat delicious Mint Chocolate Chip. And wear a dress with shoulder pads. And hit things with his dong. Don't ask me why.

I SAID DON'T ASK ME WHY. I couldn't explain it anyway.

After stumbling around in PaintShop for half an hour to make that wonderful illustration, I decided it was time to move on, and left Ted to eat his ice cream without any pants on. I shall never forget this system, or Ted. I will visit you again one day!

Rock on, Ted. Rock on.

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